MARRIAGE PREPARATION P. 2/5
Priority Area 1: understanding Catholic Marriage
Please post your answers to each question in the comments. Each answer
should be 10–40 words long.
· What do you believe you are promising to each
other?
· What does “for better or for worse” mean to you?
· What does permanence mean?
· What does fidelity require?
· What does it mean to marry sacramentally?
· How will your faith actually affect your married
life?
· Review and post a reflection on the Questions Before Consent:
or click here: https://www.foryourmarriage.org/the-questions-before-consent/
· Review and post a reflection on the Wedding Vows (=
the Consent) (2 options: A and B; see below):
Form A:
(the groom): I, N., take you, N., to be my wife. I promise to be faithful to you, in good
times and in bad, in sickness and in health,
to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.
(the bride): I, N., take you, N., to be my
husband. I promise to be faithful to
you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of
my life.
Form B:
(the groom): I, N., take you, N., for my lawful
wife, to have and to hold, from this day
forward, for better, for worse, for
richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish until death do us part.
(the bride): I, N., take you, N., for my lawful
husband, to have and to hold, from this
day forward, for better, for worse, for
richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish until death do us part.
1. What do you believe you are promising to each other?
ReplyDeleteI believe we are promising to put God as the cornerstone of our marriage. For Him to carry us and guide us in every step. From my side, I am promising to commit on becoming everyday a better man, husband and father for my wife and family. To take care of this love that we have and make it everyday bigger, to fill this relationship with good values and respect, and become also an strength and motivation to my wife, for her to accomplish her personal and shared goals. To stay by her side and take care of her as long as God allows me.
2. What does “for better or for worse” mean to you?
It’s a sense of permanence and companion in every stage of our lives, no matter if it’s happy or hard. That we will never have a perfect relationship but we can put the best of ourselves to cope with all the problems that arise. It’s creating that sense of safety that no matter what happens I know I can always run to you and feel protected. It means a constant reflection and self improvement on how to keep being a safe space for my partner and support them in any difficulty they have.
3. What does permanence mean?
For me it means a commitment, vow and promise that is renewed everyday. It's a decision we take because we are moved by the love we have to our partner, but most important by the love that God also puts in our hearts. It means I am staying by your side because I love you and I decided to spend my life with you whatever it happens and whatever it takes.
4. What does fidelity require?
It requires a heart and mind full of the love and wisdom of God. Fidelity is also a decision moved by the respect and love we have towards the other person and needs constant renovation, because the body is weak and we won’t be able to win this fight if we don’t put God as the pillar. Fidelity requires being responsible, taking care of our actions, decisions, what we see, feel, do and hear, to avoid and reject anything that can harm our relationship. To remember that is a very fragile glass that can be easily broken if we allow it and that no good will ever come from that decision.
5. What does it mean to marry sacramentally?
To understand that marriage was an act created and blessed by God, so we must always put him in the centre of it so it’s good and happy. It means we are committed to prepare our hearts and minds to take the other person into a new stage of our lives in which God is also part of. It's a compromise and declaration of our love with the church, the society, our families and friends.
6. How will your faith actually affect your married life?
I understand that I can’t win any battle without God, that my faith must be always strong and renovated everyday if I want to build a happy marriage. Without my faith in Jesus Christ I can easily fall into the sin and take decisions on my own that might not be right. As a couple we must always come back to God so he can make our love grow everyday more.
7. Review and post a reflection on the Questions Before Consent
As the article cites, these are questions to remember the "freedom of choice, fidelity to each other, and the acceptance and upbringing of children”. It’s remembering the freedom of choice that God gave us from the very beginning of the times and now use it for one of the most important decisions in our lives. It’s a compromise and decision we are assuming with all of our senses. It’s a preparation to accept a future loving eternally and unconditionally our partner and to accept also children (if God allows it) in our lives to raise them in the name of God.
8. Review and post a reflection on the Wedding Vows
I perceive vow form B as a more detailed vow that exemplifies more how unconditional our love should be. It is also a warning and preparation for what can come and can appear in the future, and that whatever good or bad comes we should always put our faith in God. I perceive this vows as the most important promise we should remember everyday in our marriage and to honour it with our actions and thoughts.
Thank you Marcelo. If I have any comments regarding your post (so far everything looks great) I will discuss them with you in private. Once I receive your responses to the other set of questions (P. 4/5) and Klaudia's responses to both sets of questions (this one + P. 4/5), we will be ready for the final meeting.
ReplyDelete1. What do you believe you are promising to each other?
ReplyDeleteI believe we promise each other the love and support in whatever life throws at us, to grow together as a team while keeping each other as autonomous beings. I see this that I am walking into life not taking only my perspective into account, but we promise each other that whatever we do is shared.
2. What does “for better or for worse” mean to you?
We survived a lot of "worse" and we recovered from it with a lot of hard work from our sides. And I know that there is more "worse" coming at us because that's how life is. I already asked you not only if you would love me if I was a worm but also if you would change my diapers if I was sick but that also applies to any hardship that awaits - to support one another, for one to devote oneself to the other one if needed and to work as partners. But that also means that we should always try to create the "better" by working hard together on our shortcomings, our bad habits and reactions, sometimes on our indifference and mistakes.
3. What does permanence mean?
It's really hard to comprehend something permanent as a human being as we are used to things having an end and a beginning. I think it's not only be with each other until death do us part but to be happy and passionate about each other until we live and look forward for the eternity together in the afterlife.
4. What does fidelity require?
The cornerstone for us is to believe that there was no one in this world that is better than your partner, no one else that can love as much and make you as happy. I believe it also requires a lot of trust - that your partner won't cheat and that if you're in doubt, you can always find a safe space to discuss it before taking action. It also demands putting efforts into connecting, spending meaningful together, celebrating each other so our fires stays lightened up.
5. What does it mean to marry sacramentally?
As we are already legally married, marrying sacramentally marks another step in our love path. It's to agree to love each other eternally and to respect your connection to God. It also means failing one another would not only mean legal or social consequences but also failing God.
6. How will your faith actually affect your married life?
We usually share theologic and political discussions to challenge our convictions. I think this will allow us to get explore more about religious perspectives.
7. Reflection on the Questions Before Consent:
For me the questions are to make sure that the marriage is a well-thought decision. It means that we both discussed it and consensually reach the agreement and that we are on common grounds when it comes to children. More importantly it also makes us reflect that this step is not the promise of now but a life-long promise of loving, respecting and cherishing each other.
8. Post a reflection on the Wedding Vows
Form A speaks more to my heart - while more general, it entails a wide variety of situations that we can encounter together. It also reflects more freedom, as Form B sounds more possessive (to have and hold). In form A it also speaks about fulfilling the promise given to each other every day, not as a total calculation of our lives if we fulfilled it or not in general.